Are you perfect?

I love to be the one to break it to you, the answer to this question is yes. Even if, right at this moment, you think you're screwing something up. Maybe you should be working instead of reading a blog. Whatever it is that makes you feel less than perfect is, in fact, just as it should be. The trick is to learn to stay with it.

This concept was extremely confusing to me at first. First of all, something seemed wrong in thinking I was divine. Divinely created, maybe, but actually God-like? As I began to see the divine in other people I began to wonder, what's the difference? The whole is greater than the sum of its parts, but that doesn't make this part different, less than or wrong. This is also not the same as saying that my actions are perfect. And when I behave badly, I know it. The trick is to allow myself to stay aware in those moments, and really feel the consequences of my actions. The other day I was with a friend I'm vaguely attracted to, and we were disagreeing about a movie. I felt he related strongly to the lead character (a man child), and my argument disintegrated into, "for Christ's sake, this isn't about you." (OK, I actually used stronger language.) This man is not vaguely attracted to me, he has a girlfriend. I don't imagine he was thinking I was talking about him, but when I said that, he looked as if I'd struck him. Only for a moment, but it was enough. I couldn't take back those words. Rather than storm home though (which is what I wanted to do), we grabbed dinner and left on an OK footing. I hope that because I didn't jump on my desire to hide under more anger, the next time I'll be a little less quick to react.

This is not to suggest I can "improve," because having finally come around to this point of view, believing I can improve is tantamount to believing I can improve on God. All I can improve is my ability to accept everything.

See you in class.