Oprah & Me

My Oprah audition

Yeah, this is beyond underdog. But hey, even if I don't know how to succeed, I sure know how to fail. And that's to not try. So check out my video! Ignore the crappy production value! Vote for me! If you're so moved, post it to your page or Tweet it! ;)
xo

Furiously sexy with Christian Audigier and/or Ed Hardy

Wow. Thank you, over at the Gloss, for finding this gem of a new product--the Christian Audigier branded condom. Or should I say, cõndõm. Well, only if you have the bragging rights to the Bõnd model. We all knew the Ed Hardy brand had jumped the shark when it started showing up in–irony of ironies for products named after a tattoo collector–tattoos of the label. But this is a whole new level of brand extension. Who are they actually targeting with this thing? And why is it Christian Audigier condoms and Ed Hardy lubricants? Who made the call in that brainstorming session? Was it the same guy who chose the first line of the web copy--All of our products are made in Malaysia. What?!? Why don't I have one right now? But my favorite line? GET FURIOUSLY SEXY. In all caps. In case you weren't angry enough when you started fucking.

In other news, I'm starting a new 6am yoga class next week and freaking out. Hence the early morning post...

(Little) Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Yes, I'm kind of a prude when it comes to entertainment and sexuality. For instance I'm horrified by the Disneyfication of the upcoming Ramona movie. And pageant kids and their moms are worse than clowns and mimes on my nightmare scale. But the furor over the clip of these girls dancing passed me by.

I wanted to look on in shock, but they're so talented that instead I started to wonder if I could bill myself as a talent agent and contact a couple of them. Surely they are on their way to stardom. At least I hope. They are totally into the act, mouthing the words and making faces. Playing along. Awesomeness. So I was ready to let this one pass without comment.

But thanks to the dudes at The Skorpion Show, I found a video along these lines that IS totally cringe-worthy.

In this clip, a boy is exhorted by the adults looking on to grab onto this young girls hips as she is encouraged to really grind into him. Now THAT'S sexualizing children in a totally inappropriate way. Just look at the way she breaks out into a sheen of sweat. Viewer discretion is advised...

Paris is Burning (Still)

"Your son is a woman!" cried a strange voice at me from my friend's answering machine. "Oh that's from Paris is Burning," my friend explained later. "You never saw that?" The rising inflection in his voice told me I should. A gay black man who grew up in the deep South, Willy was celebrating the 20th anniversary of the film that taught him he could make his own community. About time I saw this thing.


The film documents the houses that poor gay men flocked to as far back as the 1960s, according to one of its interviewees, Dorian Corey. The houses provided shelter to some, but more importantly held balls that epitomized a certain style. (Madonna's "Vogue," is taken from the ball culture.) Clips from the balls are interspersed with commentary from "children" (hopeful up and coming ball talent) and "legends" (established acts). According to the legendary Corey, in the early days the balls were all about emulating the Las Vegas showgirl style, but had lately become all about labels. This was shot in 1987 and 1989, and I daresay that now, most of these guys wouldn't make it through a reality makeover show without some major changes. And this is one of the film's finer points--celebrating "the best" in fashion is an ephemeral pursuit. Yet with his wizened reminiscences ("as you get older... you think you've left a mark on the world if you just get through it...") Corey makes it meta.

"They're all dead now," Willy tells me, after I've watched it. "AIDS or just getting beat up."

And this reminds me to blog about it. We are all, after all, ephemeral. All communities are fragile, worth cherishing, and celebrating.

Springtime in paradise...

Only in New York...

I left this?

For this?

Happily.

Literally blowing sunshine out my ass...

Finally finally finally. I did a fast and a colon cleanse. Above is the machine at work. On me. Yes!

As it turns out, I'm as healthy as I suspected (yay!), and though it was good to see the dead worm go (anti-parasite medicine, after India, here I come again), I don't feel the urge to rush back. The big news is that I can fast; I've always been so afraid to even try. OK, I only did it for two days, but hey, that's the longest I've ever gone in my life. And what I noticed was how amazing food tasted after that. So the fasting, now that's another story.

Since time immemorial, fasting has been a tool of spiritual seekers. Now I feel, finally, it is one that is open to me. If I can ever access it. Meanwhile I'm going to finish the Tutmak brownie (not as good as at Kaffe) and Indian chai (better than Kaffe).